This month’s Expert Blog Post, is by Dirty Little Whispers
Introducing sex toys into the bedroom with a new partner, or even a long-term partner can be difficult. Just the thought of sharing the bed with a sex toy is enough to drive some men and women hiding beneath their sheets!
But if you’re intrigued by the world of sex toys and don’t quite know where to start with your partner, fear not, as there are plenty of toys on the market, which are designed specifically for couples.
And, rather than replacing your current sex life, you’re adding a whole new dimension to it. However, there are things to think about and ways to go about it – throwing a giant dildo onto the bed and shouting “I’ve got you a present!” probably isn’t the best way to start!
Communication is key, and sex toy shopping is a great way to bond with your partner – from sharing your thoughts on possible toys and games with each other, to waiting for the box of fun to arrive on your doorstep. The fact you’ve both carefully chosen these items together, is like foreplay in itself.
My advice is, don’t chose the most expensive toys first. Why spend all that money on a luxury flogger, to then find out your loved one doesn’t like being spanked? If you start off small, you can see if you like the feeling of a product first, and then move onto the next stage.
I would advise that you begin with a bullet. Nothing fancy, it doesn’t need to be remote controlled – a Rocks-Off 80mm Bullet would be a great start. It’s small, simple and can be used on both of you.
Start by showing him how you like it to be used on you. Try it on your nipples, your inner thigh and of course, your clitoris. Then let him try. He’ll have you wriggling in pleasure in no time. Then swap, you try it on the same places on him, and his perineum (the fleshy part of skin between the testicles and his anus). Try it whilst giving him a blowjob, and he’ll wonder why you hadn’t got one sooner!
Another great toy for couples to use together, are cock rings. The rabbit silicone vibrating cock ring will be a great addition to your bedside table. It’s made from silicone, which is one of the safest materials a toy can be made from, due to it being non-porous. The stretchy ring will constrict him, keeping the blood in his penis for much longer and enabling him to last MUCH longer. Whilst the vibrations travelling up to the rabbit ears will stimulate your clitoris, they will also effectively turn your man into your own Rampant Rabbit!
Have you read any erotica recently – dare I mention Fifty Shades Of Grey?
Not all sex toys have to vibrate, just by taking a simple blindfold into the bedroom you can spice things up tremendously. By blindfolding your partner, you make all their other senses a lot sharper. You could also try taking away their ability to touch by binding their wrists. This simple yet effective introduction to BDSM, is an easy way to test the water, to see if you and your partner enjoy this type of pleasure.
Once your partner is safely bound and blindfolded, you can carefully place kisses down their body, changing depth between soft and passionate, and use feathers to tickle them softly and make them squirm.
Alternatively, use ice cubes to create cool sensations on their skin, then blow softly over it – there are many possibilities that can try, it’s just a case of using your imagination.
Another good tip on gently introducing bondage into the bedroom, is to hold your partner’s hands above their head during sex first. This will give them a taste of what’s to come and is a good prompt to get the restraints out. Try something soft and gentle to start with like a soft, feather handcuff.
Take your time
Don’t rush, take your time with lots of foreplay first and most important, relax. If you don’t like the feel of a toy on you, then say so. There’s nothing worse than someone thinking they’re pleasuring you, when really you’re wriggling in pain. There are plenty of other toys to try, so if one doesn’t suit, there are plenty more that will be better suited to your needs. With such a variety of different sex toys out there, you really don’t want to strike off a whole category of fun!
Don’t forget to talk about what you did and didn’t like about the toy with your partner, that way you can discover what really works for you both and continue to experiment and have fun with sex toys.
And, finally, after you’ve played and had your fun, remember to clean your new toys thoroughly.